Tips that support negotiating, networking, and personal brand
Written by Dan Parry • 1 December, 2025
Interpersonal Communication Skills Article
Reader, I hear you – active listening sounds like a hatful of common sense. But think of it this way. Do you sometimes silently judge the person you’re talking to? How tempted are you to interrupt, or give advice? When things you want to say are burning away in your head, active listening skills can help you engage, focus, and come away feeling that someone knows you heard them.
In communication, everything that’s said is only half of what’s happening. The other half – hearing – can be just as active as speaking. There might not be much to say if you’ve missed what’s been said.
Make the move from passive passenger to engaged participant by listening, rather than just thinking about what you want to say next. When your response builds on what the other person has said, the conversation will travel further than if you simply launch into the pre-loaded points you’ve been itching to make.
To develop active listening skills, begin by accepting the presence of the other person. It helps to be patient, curious, and interested in them so that you can ‘tune in’ to what they’re saying.
Effective speaking and listening are two actions that contribute to the single activity of mutual understanding, the common middle ground that good conversations aim to reach.
Mutual understanding relies on emotional intelligence – particularly empathy. More than just getting something off your chest, a conversation is a two-way street. Impenetrable jargon, a self-absorbed agenda, or a dull stream of consciousness can quickly leave someone behind.
When speaking, adjust your tone, phrasing, and body language to better connect with the other person. Similarly, when listening, give a clear signal of presence – through an open posture, quiet patience that shows you’re genuinely there, and steady eye contact (though conventions on this vary from culture to culture).
Active listening is validating the other person, acknowledging their presence in the conversation. For example, paraphrasing a point that they have just made demonstrates that you’re both on the same page. Building mutual understanding, in a conversation that progresses step-by-step, helps to construct positive takeaways that linger on after the conversation has finished.
Improve active listening skills at work through actions such as:
– Show presence by giving the other person wholehearted awareness and focus. Presence means to be engaged in what’s being said, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Think of a job interview, or a chat when someone shared difficult news. It’s not easy to sustain over time, nevertheless being present to this level leads to stronger understanding.
– The secret component of presence is energy. Energy is effort. It may be easier to skip the active bit and just emptily nod your way through a chat, but without presence and energy you risk coming off as bored and disinterested – which in the workplace isn’t a good look.
– Next comes curiosity. Ask questions that draw people out rather than funnel them towards the answer you want. “Tell me more” is a surprisingly powerful phrase. It nudges a conversation away from assumptions and towards understanding.
– Skilled listeners pay attention to the unsaid: hesitations, tone changes, the slight shift in pace that hints at something important.Try to read their mood as well as interpret their words.
– It’s important to ignore distractions. Looking around for something or someone more interesting, or silently Googling what the other person said – while they’re still saying it – might bring the conversation to an end quicker than you would have liked.
– Don’t rush to rescue, correct or conclude. Silence is golden. Sometimes only when they pause do people reveal what they really mean.
– Suspend judgment. Try to engage with what they’re saying, rather than thinking of your potential objections.
– Hold back advice: it’s easier to give advice than to take it. Do they really need your words of wisdom? Keep your discussion relevant to the discussion in hand. WAIT: if you’ve jumped in too early with your opinions, ask yourself: Why Am I Talking?
When listening skills become habit, your personal reputation grows, relationships become stronger, and your network expands. Active listening is a key component of negotiation styles, influence and persuasion, and managing difficult conversations.
Careful listening is particularly important in managing digital communication challenges, for example talking with someone online. Virtual calls lack the proximity of physical presence. When speaking to a screen, getting to the heart of a conversation requires more energy than you might normally give.
Developing a meaningful connection online is hard when eye contact is not about actually looking someone in the eye. A camera on a desktop or a phone is usually set to one side of the screen. It’s tempting to look at someone’s face. In reality, they may only think you’re doing so when you’re actually looking into a black hole or a little green light a few centimetres above them.
Actively listening is harder too when an online meeting is disrupted, at your end, by notifications, emails, and updates. In a face-to face conversation, when even a side glance is going to be noticed, it’s easier to stay focused than when talking online.
When the other person is just an image on a screen, they somehow seem less real. It’s easy to imagine they’re less likely to notice when you quietly scroll through your inbox. However, better to give them the courtesy you would if you were together in the same room.
Active listening is about connecting with the speaker – helping them get to what they want to say by setting aside your own agenda, suspending judgment, and engaging on an emotional level. When listening, you have a responsibility to not just wait your turn to speak but to actively engage in understanding the other person.
At Working Voices, our Effective Listening training course allows participants to get to grips with established theory and research. Trainees learn that active listening is:
Empathic – listening so the other person feels heard and understood.
Attentive – listening to every bit of information and trying to compute it all.
Responsive – beginning your reply by recognising what the other person has just said.
Participants discover that active listening can go against basic instincts, particularly when you’re itching to interrupt. It may be tempting to jump in with your thoughts, but it’s better to let people finish and leave a slight pause before you respond, so that they feel heard.
Perfection is impossible, conversations can take unexpected twists and turns. We might not get it right on every occasion but to achieve active listening more than less is always a good thing to aim for.
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The founder and CEO of Working Voices, Nick Smallman has been at the top of his profession for 25 years. Advising global blue-chip clients on engagement, productivity, and retention, he counsels leaders on increasing revenue via simple cultural adjustments.
Overseeing the successful expansion of Working Voices across the UK, the US, Asia, and the Middle East, Nick supports the leadership and communication capabilities of clients in a wide range of sectors. In particular, he has advised companies such as JP Morgan, Barclays, Sony, Nomura, M&S, and Blackrock for more than 15 years.
Developing his reputation for thought leadership, in recent years Nick has been leading work on The Sustainable Human, the subject of his forthcoming book. A concept unique to Working Voices, The Sustainable Human offers a package of solutions focusing on leadership enablement, future skills, and cultural harmony.
Working closely with HR specialist Mercer, Nick has developed solutions to four key modern workplace challenges:
“I’m excited to share the conclusions of three years of research that, if implemented, can make an immediate practical difference to leaders and their organisations.”
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